Thursday, 6 March 2014

In a bit of a Funk

Dear Journal

Early this morning when I finally went to bed - I nudged my husband and I told him that I was in a bit of a "funk" - to which he sleepily replied - "a what?" - I say, "y'know - a funk" and then I went on to explain what I was feeling..... the poor man listened (or feel back asleep - it sounded the same :-))..... but basically - I miss my sons.
I know all those intellectual and spiritual things like - "they are in God's hands etc", "they are hastening the work etc"... but I can tell you this for free - I do not, and have never to this date found any physical comfort in these phrases. Don't get me wrong - all of it is true - and I know that - but sometimes I just want to talk to my boys even if it is to say 'hi'. I have been pretty honest in this blog about my sons being my world - and without them - I find the emptiness and silence in my life on occasion - to be a little depressing!
Research says that the empty nest syndrome (which I have self diagnosed myself as having :-)) is more prevalant in mother's whose identity and feeling of self-worth comes from being a 'mother'. I hadn't realised, that regardless of the degrees (I have two Bachelors and one Masters) I have, or the work/leadership positions I have been in - I actually valued being a mother above all else - I always thought it was my top priority - but now I really KNOW that it was the MOST important 'thing' in my life - and now that I get to be a long distance mother who hears from her sons once a week instead of all day - it is tough! This word has just bought a smile to my face - because I bought this little block that says tough as nails - and I think I need that more than ever - or as my friends tell me - harden up!!
The boys are hitting the 2 month mark in a couple of days so I should be used to hearing from them once a week right?! The only problem is when they were in the MTC - their PDays were different - so I actually got a love byte twice a week. Now their love catches up with me like every other missionary mother - once a week and I can tell you 7 days is a LOOOONNNNGGGG time!!
So, now that I have acknowledged how I am feeling - what next?? Well, even as I am writing about this "funk" I am in, I can hear my mother's voice telling me what she taught me to do whenever I was down and that was to get back to basics! 1) Say your prayers, 2) Read your Scriptures (even if in wannabe Spanish ;-), 3) Hold Family Home Evening and 4)Go to the temple!! Added to that, and what has helped me move through this is  5) Give service - because it is hard to remember what is you haven't got, when you are too busy helping others with their needs....

But, to tell you the truth, the best bit of this 'funk' is that I have an even simpler cure - PDay - which is tomorrow!!
 I'll let you know how I go....

Thanks for listening,



  1. you are doing great missionary momma!...from one that undesrtand E.V.E.R.Y word you are saying!, its been a week since my two babies are gone to serve the Lord and I must follow your example, I am going back to basic....Perhaps in those days you feel you could do some service and perhaps the Auckland MTC comes to mind...drop by and take some momma's love to those kids in there...My daughter would be one of them to benefit ;) !

  2. I would love to - maybe you could email me their details. I would love to do that for you xxo