Patience is a Virtue

Dear Journal

Recently, I wrote about my son missing his PDay email. It was a source of spiritual inspiration and I felt very blessed indeed, especially when, on the next day I received not one but three email responses from him after he had read all of my emails. I am not sure what he was feeling - but he did ask me to explain how his Zone Leaders were contacted and a message was conveyed instructing him to write home to his mother. This was his last set of instructions, and they repeated twice throughout the emails so I know he will be waiting to hear the answer.....

Now you see why I have called this blog Patience is a virtue, because I have been told on numerous occasions - especially by more experienced missionary mothers, and the ultimate return missionary incarnate - Mr M - that missionaries are busy and sometimes just can't get around to writing....

I was so amazed to see mothers in my own missionary mamas group who have suffered through weeks with no email and have demonstrated the fortitude of warriors, never flinching, and just waiting until they did. Every time, their missionary explained why they hadn't made contact and all is good amongst the people.....

 

I know this, I have the faith that they are safe. It is just I so desperately count on hearing from my missionaries - that this one slip was a problem for me....

 

It turned out that week I also got a letter in the mail! That made me feel even worse - that I didn't have the patience to wait for my son to make contact.... ;-( On top of that a missionary mother with a son serving in the same area as my son sent me photos - which were the first photos we had seen since he had left MTC! Heavenly Father answered my prayers - but I so caught up in starting this international search party, that I wasn't patient ENOUGH or for long ENOUGH.... and my son found out...
 

Bless my boy's heart, what has really strengthened my resolve to hold the line and practice patience if a PDay email was ever missed again was my email from my baby - I tell you it was another 'out of the mouths of babes' moments for this missionary mama.
 

"If I don’t email one week then you need to pray and wait, you can’t just skip to the end and say I’m in hospital because truth is I probably will be teaching someone... I will find time some where in my week to email -  you just need to [pray and] trust me. Other than that know that I’m on a mission so I’m going to be busy, I’m going to get sick, I may get hurt, I already have got lost before and many other things you wouldn’t want to happen to me but that’s a mission."

 

 

 

Got it son- and from this I will forever and practice patience, pray and wait some more!!

 

Well, I will try my hardest son & that is all I can do ;-)

 

Until the next time,

A repentant Missionary mama xx

M.I.A - Missing in Action!!

Dear Journal

I couldn't go to bed tonight without writing about my experience today.

Yesterday was my missionary boy's PDay. One son, dutifully writes to his mother - not even a family one just his mum/dad/brother email this week. It was lovely, too short for my liking but it had  wonderful experiences he is having - which are so faith promoting - I love reading over and over and over! Anyway - he writes a short email and then just like that pft! - gone until next week. I imagine him blowing out his last breath of the day and gives himself a big tick on his To DO List next to - write to mum otherwise!!

 

On the other hand, my other son usually writes a bit later in the day so I wait, and wait, and wait - and nothing. I call Mr twice just to make sure it isn't just me or a bad connection on my part - but he isn't getting email either.... so I wait until it becomes obvious (my sons are 7 hours ahead of me) I am not going to get an email. I can't explain fully how I feel at this point. I am worried, but I have faith that he is well. I am stressing out, and yet I know that my son is in the Lord's hands - so basically although intellectually and spiritually I know these facts,  I am an emotional wreck!

                                                                                                                                                             

By the time I am ready to go home from work I have reminded myself some key points; 1) my son is okay because the church would have called me straight away, and 2) I know that he's still alive because surely as his mother I would have felt something...... so I come home and I try and get some sleep, checking my inbox throughout the night and early morning to see if something has popped up after having been temporarily delayed?? Nothing.

 

I wake up and decide to stay home from work because ALL I want to do is to get on a plane to the Dominican Republic to see for myself where he is! I struggle to  stop myself from ringing Interpol, the prophet and/or my son's Mission President...... I don't do any of these!! Instead I put out an APB (all points bulletin) to anyone who knows anyone in the Dominican Republic to look for my son!

 

I get in contact with my neighbour's friends in Melbourne, Australia who have local knowledge of the DR and give them the area in which my son is serving. The city or municipal where my son is has a population of 263,861 people. So this couple send out messages to their friends and promise to get back in touch with me.  While I am waiting, I keep myself busy although one eye and my heart really, is looking at the time, knowing that another day is drawing to a close with NO WORD for me from him.

 

Then at 5pm tonight, midnight where my son is living, I get a message from these wonderful people from Melbourne that says "I have news for you. My friend's friends have gotten hold of your sons' zone leaders and they have said your son is ok!" I can't thank my new friends enough for the help that they have given this MM. They have answered mine and my husband's prayers.... I now know that out of the 263,861, my son is ok and I will probably find out tomorrow  through these same channels - why he didn't email me this week..... I already know the rationale behind it will make sense - but it will great to see it written down.

 

By this time, I am emotionally drained, but I make sure to send a thank you email to my new friends in Melbourne, then I sit at my computer and cry - with relief and a grateful heart.

 

Next, I pull down a pillow from the bed, and kneel on it and pray. I sob and cry out in gratitude, and just pure relief. And while I am praying I feel next to me someone getting down beside me to pray. I tell myself it's the cat putting it's weight on the pillow (under my knees) but I can't hear her purring - and whatever it is leaves and then again someone has kneeled down beside me. I dare not open my eyes.... but feel like someone is beside me.... I know my missionary sons are praying for their crazy mummy and I am grateful for this knowledge. I finish my prayer and I am blessed! I stand up and I feel light.

 

I go to bed tonight - knowing that both of my boys are okay... and my baby who went  M.I.A  on God's errand has been found... and this missionary mama can breathe again!!

Mxo

Don't Mess with a Missionary Mama!!

My husband found out again - that this missionary mama is not to be messed with - especially when it comes to PDays... those days are like manna from heaven and I will cross burning coals and would even run (you have to see me to know that I don't run!!) to anywhere to get my son's emails....

So today, it is PDay in the Dominican Republic. The boys both email me, one is to a group and then one directly to me and my husband with his brother in it - this is our family circle email. It keeps everyone in touch with each other.... My other son - just sends a group email - two of them and there is none his mother....

Their father (husband of 23 years) calls me at work some time later and he is all chirpy and I said - "the boys emails were short today" and then he proceeds to tell me that he had been online and had little chats with them!! Apparently all three of my significant others (1 husband and 2 missionaries) - had been emailing each other and no one thought to press REPLY ALL (including their father) - so their mother missed out... I was not impressed!!

After asking what they said, their father casually replies "just little bits - nothing major!" By this time smoke is coming out of my ears, but their father finally, as requested a few times - forwards me their emails and what d'ya know - there are messages: Mum, can you get me this, Mum can you do this, and I look at the recipients - and there is no mum in there!! I could not believe it.

So I have emailed all three of them to instruct them to reconnect their fingers to the REPLY ALL button... and not happy.... with their father in particular.

I had been feeling a bit funny last week (self diagnosed it as a bit of a funk) - and I remembering saying to Mr, "I hope the boys are okay" - because I just felt 'off'. He would brush it off and say "of course they are okay.... etc" getting frustrated that I somehow didn't have faith anymore.... What he didn't realise is that it was a mother's intuition on high alert - because as it turns out - one of my sons has had a challenging week and is becoming frustrated with the language - trying to work with a new companion, new country, and appointments falling through, and it all coincides with how I was feeling last week.... and I know if I had being included in their emails earlier - I may have been able to reassure them, or help somehow....

Anyway, I am hoping that the REPLY ALL lesson remains with Mr and his sons for the next 96 weeks.

Don't mess with a missionary mama on PDay....!

Let's see how we go next week ;-)

Mxo

In a bit of a Funk

Dear Journal

Early this morning when I finally went to bed - I nudged my husband and I told him that I was in a bit of a "funk" - to which he sleepily replied - "a what?" - I say, "y'know - a funk" and then I went on to explain what I was feeling..... the poor man listened (or feel back asleep - it sounded the same :-))..... but basically - I miss my sons.

 

I know all those intellectual and spiritual things like - "they are in God's hands etc", "they are hastening the work etc"... but I can tell you this for free - I do not, and have never to this date found any physical comfort in these phrases. Don't get me wrong - all of it is true - and I know that - but sometimes I just want to talk to my boys even if it is to say 'hi'. I have been pretty honest in this blog about my sons being my world - and without them - I find the emptiness and silence in my life on occasion - to be a little depressing!

 

Research says that the empty nest syndrome (which I have self diagnosed myself as having :-)) is more prevalant in mother's whose identity and feeling of self-worth comes from being a 'mother'. I hadn't realised, that regardless of the degrees (I have two Bachelors and one Masters) I have, or the work/leadership positions I have been in - I actually valued being a mother above all else - I always thought it was my top priority - but now I really KNOW that it was the MOST important 'thing' in my life - and now that I get to be a long distance mother who hears from her sons once a week instead of all day - it is tough! This word has just bought a smile to my face - because I bought this little block that says tough as nails - and I think I need that more than ever - or as my friends tell me - harden up!!

 

The boys are hitting the 2 month mark in a couple of days so I should be used to hearing from them once a week right?! The only problem is when they were in the MTC - their PDays were different - so I actually got a love byte twice a week. Now their love catches up with me like every other missionary mother - once a week and I can tell you 7 days is a LOOOONNNNGGGG time!!

 

So, now that I have acknowledged how I am feeling - what next?? Well, even as I am writing about this "funk" I am in, I can hear my mother's voice telling me what she taught me to do whenever I was down and that was to get back to basics! 1) Say your prayers, 2) Read your Scriptures (even if in wannabe Spanish ;-), 3) Hold Family Home Evening and 4)Go to the temple!! Added to that, and what has helped me move through this is  5) Give service - because it is hard to remember what is you haven't got, when you are too busy helping others with their needs....

But, to tell you the truth, the best bit of this 'funk' is that I have an even simpler cure - PDay - which is tomorrow!!

 

 I'll let you know how I go....

Thanks for listening,

Mxo