The Gift of Tongues

I have always marvelled at how the Articles of Faith (AoF) were created and how a young man was able to encapsulate the principles of a religion in 13 simple statements. Each one capturing the essence of it's subject and although they build on each other, they have enough content to survive as a stand alone testament to that subject.

 

The one that I am most intrigued by and the most relevant to my life at this time is the 7th article of faith which reads:

 

"We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth" 

 

You see, never in my wildest imagination as a child, having grown up with the AoF - did I think how important it was going to be when I grew up. I believe every word - but I had no idea that it really worked - I had never had any experience with this.... It turns out that my sons who have also learnt these AoF as children are now 'real-life' recipients of them.

 

English didn't come easy to either of the boys, in fact both of them dropped it from their suite of examable subjects in high school as  soon as they could. So to say they have a demand of english is a stretch but it is their native tongue. So it when they recieved their mission calls to serve in a spanish speaking country  - our prayers really started.

 

Once the boys recieved the gift of the Holy Ghost, our prayers always asked for each of us to be worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost. So, it made sense that when they left they were encouraged to rely on the spirit as it was through that they would be able to communicate with anyone. We talked about how the spirit would fill their mouths in time when they were unsure what the word was and how it was the role of the spirit to testify of the truth....

 

THE MTC: For the first six weeks they learnt how to speak Spanish in a controlled environment with tutors who had served in a Spanish speaking mission and lead by people who were from a range of Spanish Speaking countries. They were paired with people who knew just as much as them or less and grouped with others who ranged from beginners to those who had some Spanish on board. The boys wrote home often frustrated that they weren't progressing....: 5 FEB "I'm horrible at Spanish and everytime I feel like that I think I should just go home, but I always know that you two (Mum & Dad) would think I was doing amazing and then I try and be happy again, but yeah it's going well at the MTC. I'm trying my hardest I promise...." 9 FEB "Well the language isn't getting any easier it's still really slow coming but I'm still trying to improve every day...."

 

We taught the boys to try and relax and not to push too hard (being competitive is in the nature of being a twin which is great in sports but a bit of a challenge with things like this), and we promised them that with the spirit, the language would come naturally and not by force. We didn't want them to be pressured because that's not a good environment to learn......

 

So the boys tried to let it come naturally and as they left the MTC - they were reporting: 23 FEB "I was to give the closing prayer, I can't rememebr what I said but I remember being nervous, because my district being the oldest group in the zone and me being the leader (district leader) I felt as if I had to give this good prayer and show the new people the [level of ] expectation. I can't even remember what I said in the prayer specifically but I know I said some words I had no idea I even knew, and I must have done pretty good because the new people thought I was a native speaker hahaha,... so the gift of tongues must be coming". As his mother, I find my heart full of wonder and joy that they have lived good lives to be able to recieve these beautiful gifts of the spirit.

In preparation for arriving in their new country of residence for the next two years, we shared with the boys the experience of others before them, that the language in the country was totally different than in the MTC. We had heard from friends that people arrived feeling confident in a language only to be left speechless...

IN THE FIELD: As expected, and on cue - the boys first emails report: 4 MAR " I met the ward and everything. It was super hard to stay awake because I have to pay so much attention trying to figure out what they're saying, and it makes me tired but hey I survivied it too, and the people are super super cool, they just speak really fast and I can't understand their accent haha!!" and 4 MAR "It's true about how fast these people can speak. I can't understand anything"....

The boys were counselled by their mission prep leaders and other RMs (returned missionaries) that their command of the language will eventually come along. They understood very clearly the need to be have the companionship of the spirit so they could be recipients of the gift or tongues and the interpretation of tongues - which means basically they would be able to speak and understand others speaking Spanish.

ONE MONTH SINCE ARRIVING IN THE FIELD: We gave the boys 6 months so I set the goal with them that by August, and definitely by the time they call me for Christmas they would be totally immersed ;-) The problem is that I think it is going to be their phonecall on Mother's Day that will see them struggling to speak in English ;-) One report: 1 APR "So I decided to take the opportunity to teach in English lesson one, and I can tell you now when I come home I'm not going to be speaking much English, as I was struggling to teach lesson one in English and I've only been here for a month.... But it's cool. I like teaching him. I had to say the prayer in English too, which was really really hard, I didn't know what to say, hahaha so I think this is a good sign my English is finally dropping off and my Spanish is picking up chin a chin, little by little". And from his brother: 3 APR "I can understand people now usually it sounds like they would say one big word but now it sounds like Spanish".

 

So that's it - the gift of tongues kicking in such a short amount of time. We are so grateful for the help they have been getting by those around them and especially for both of the boys being worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost and as such recipients of the gift of tongues.

 

As for me and Mr - we better get cracking and learn us some Spanish....!!

Don't Mess with a Missionary Mama!!

My husband found out again - that this missionary mama is not to be messed with - especially when it comes to PDays... those days are like manna from heaven and I will cross burning coals and would even run (you have to see me to know that I don't run!!) to anywhere to get my son's emails....

So today, it is PDay in the Dominican Republic. The boys both email me, one is to a group and then one directly to me and my husband with his brother in it - this is our family circle email. It keeps everyone in touch with each other.... My other son - just sends a group email - two of them and there is none his mother....

Their father (husband of 23 years) calls me at work some time later and he is all chirpy and I said - "the boys emails were short today" and then he proceeds to tell me that he had been online and had little chats with them!! Apparently all three of my significant others (1 husband and 2 missionaries) - had been emailing each other and no one thought to press REPLY ALL (including their father) - so their mother missed out... I was not impressed!!

After asking what they said, their father casually replies "just little bits - nothing major!" By this time smoke is coming out of my ears, but their father finally, as requested a few times - forwards me their emails and what d'ya know - there are messages: Mum, can you get me this, Mum can you do this, and I look at the recipients - and there is no mum in there!! I could not believe it.

So I have emailed all three of them to instruct them to reconnect their fingers to the REPLY ALL button... and not happy.... with their father in particular.

I had been feeling a bit funny last week (self diagnosed it as a bit of a funk) - and I remembering saying to Mr, "I hope the boys are okay" - because I just felt 'off'. He would brush it off and say "of course they are okay.... etc" getting frustrated that I somehow didn't have faith anymore.... What he didn't realise is that it was a mother's intuition on high alert - because as it turns out - one of my sons has had a challenging week and is becoming frustrated with the language - trying to work with a new companion, new country, and appointments falling through, and it all coincides with how I was feeling last week.... and I know if I had being included in their emails earlier - I may have been able to reassure them, or help somehow....

Anyway, I am hoping that the REPLY ALL lesson remains with Mr and his sons for the next 96 weeks.

Don't mess with a missionary mama on PDay....!

Let's see how we go next week ;-)

Mxo

25 Words!!

Dear Journal,

Our High Councilman spoke yesterday in church and I knew that I was going to write and talk about it.... He retold a story as told by President Monson in a general conference in 2008, and later by the General Primary President in 2013 - about Jay Hess, an airman who was captured and imprisoned during the Vietnam war. Our High Councilman must have been touched by what he read, as he researched further and was able to provide some other detail which made the story even more amazing!! For two years, the family of Brother Hess did not know if he was alive, missing or worse - dead. When Hess was moved to another prisoner of war camp, not only had the conditions improved, and the food was better - he was eventually allowed to write one letter. It was to be no more than 25 words.

 

Brother Hess thought about what he would say that would let his family recognise it was his him (writing), and also provide counsel to his children. This is what he wrote: "“These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

President Monson went on to ask us all what we would write, and what legacy would we leave behind and encouraged us to "relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."

 

So, tonight I wrote to my boys and told them about this story and I shared with them my 25 words to them at this time: "I love you. Return with honour. Become educated. Work hard. Marry someone you see raising your children. Stay spiritually strong. Pray always. Love my moko (grandchildren)…"

 

I don't know what they will think of that - but I know they will know it was from their mother who loves them so very very very much....

 

What would be your message to your missionary(s)??

 

Until next time.

 

Mxo 

In a bit of a Funk

Dear Journal

Early this morning when I finally went to bed - I nudged my husband and I told him that I was in a bit of a "funk" - to which he sleepily replied - "a what?" - I say, "y'know - a funk" and then I went on to explain what I was feeling..... the poor man listened (or feel back asleep - it sounded the same :-))..... but basically - I miss my sons.

 

I know all those intellectual and spiritual things like - "they are in God's hands etc", "they are hastening the work etc"... but I can tell you this for free - I do not, and have never to this date found any physical comfort in these phrases. Don't get me wrong - all of it is true - and I know that - but sometimes I just want to talk to my boys even if it is to say 'hi'. I have been pretty honest in this blog about my sons being my world - and without them - I find the emptiness and silence in my life on occasion - to be a little depressing!

 

Research says that the empty nest syndrome (which I have self diagnosed myself as having :-)) is more prevalant in mother's whose identity and feeling of self-worth comes from being a 'mother'. I hadn't realised, that regardless of the degrees (I have two Bachelors and one Masters) I have, or the work/leadership positions I have been in - I actually valued being a mother above all else - I always thought it was my top priority - but now I really KNOW that it was the MOST important 'thing' in my life - and now that I get to be a long distance mother who hears from her sons once a week instead of all day - it is tough! This word has just bought a smile to my face - because I bought this little block that says tough as nails - and I think I need that more than ever - or as my friends tell me - harden up!!

 

The boys are hitting the 2 month mark in a couple of days so I should be used to hearing from them once a week right?! The only problem is when they were in the MTC - their PDays were different - so I actually got a love byte twice a week. Now their love catches up with me like every other missionary mother - once a week and I can tell you 7 days is a LOOOONNNNGGGG time!!

 

So, now that I have acknowledged how I am feeling - what next?? Well, even as I am writing about this "funk" I am in, I can hear my mother's voice telling me what she taught me to do whenever I was down and that was to get back to basics! 1) Say your prayers, 2) Read your Scriptures (even if in wannabe Spanish ;-), 3) Hold Family Home Evening and 4)Go to the temple!! Added to that, and what has helped me move through this is  5) Give service - because it is hard to remember what is you haven't got, when you are too busy helping others with their needs....

But, to tell you the truth, the best bit of this 'funk' is that I have an even simpler cure - PDay - which is tomorrow!!

 

 I'll let you know how I go....

Thanks for listening,

Mxo

Myth Busters

Dear Missionary Mama

This blog makes me smile. As I am writing it, I am thinking about my sons and the emails we have been sharing about these myths we were told about, and how we have busted them!! It doesn't make me angry or hurt, instead - just smile and know it is going to be something that we will talk about when they are finished - and have a laugh...

You see before the boys left for their mission and while at the MTC - I came across some information - all corroborated by other missionaries and/ or my favourite group of people in the world - missionary mothers. So practically it was 'gospel'....... yet now we (the Turketo3) call them myths - hence the smiles.....

MISSIONARY MYTH 1: The Room

We were told while the boys were preparing for their mission, and for some reason, and I do not know why - at the Provo MTC, New Zealand (NZ) is seen as a 3rd world country. This means that the missionaries from NZ join other missionaries from other poor? countries and are taken to this room where they can pick and choose from the items in there and have them - for free! We had heard missionaries picking up suits, bags, shirts, and so on. My niece who went to the Provo MTC - talked of this room....

With this information, and because the boys are serving in a HOT country, and Provo at the time was in the middle of WINTER, we decided that the boys would be able to pick up some warm clothes from the ROOM.

So my sons get called to this room - and the myth is busted! Instead of this massive room (waaaaay smaller than in our imaginations!) and having free range of items - the boys reported that they are met by people who went through their missionary checklist looking for gaps - so the missionary that got a new suit - probably required more suits, hence a suit was picked up.... However, since my sons arrived at MTC with ticks  next to every mission specific/required items, they didn't get much from the room.... but they got what they needed.

My son wrote back and told me that the room is actually made up of lost and found items left by the thousands of missionaries that move through the MTC. It is also made up of clothes - which my son did himself - donated by missionaries that aren't going to be using them. So the warm clothes that one of my sons picked up from other missionaries and from parcels - critical in Provo - but unnecessary in the Caribbean were donated. Other kind saints are also donating. My son, got his warm coat from a missionary who left before him. Myth Busted ;-)

MISSIONARY MYTH 2: The ATM Card
The myth:I read somewhere that missionaries in the MTC get a card like an ATM card that had money on it for things that a missionary would need. Again, based on this information, and embellished by my imagination - I ask the boys about this card... and I relax a little thinking that they are getting money every week to get things that they need - although in the MTC - they don't need much!! I'm thinking - if they want to get something from the bookstore, or they want to get some nice paper to write home to their mother (another dream!!) - this card would have some money on it.

In one of the last emails from the MTC, and I am sure he was wearing a big smile as he was writing, my son tells me - Mum - it wasn't like an ATM card with money on it - it was like a swipey card that has $5 on it - for their laundry. Myth Busted :-)

MISSIONARY MYTH 3: The Airport Call

Now, I am a fan of my missionary mothers groups that I am a part of. Some of the women in there are up to their 4th missionary - so again what they say is 'gospel'. The posts of interests were the ones about missionaries calling home from the airport before leaving or during lay overs. My sons and I planned for these little calls - they have phone cards and one has almost $15 worth of quarters ;-) They are prepared...... I wait and wait and wait........ I even find myself stalking airflights! ;-) What I notice is that when they arrive at the JFK airport in New York (they have never been there before) they have 1 hour to make a connecting flight at another terminal that they have never been too - and I know that checking out and in takes time!! Because of all these little things - I fell into the group of MM who didn't get one phone call. Myth Busted :-)

MISSIONARY MYTH 4: The Mission Home
The myth: I had been reading other missionary mothers posting about how they received on the same day as arrival or soon after a letter from their missionary's Mission President (with a photo), some missionaries were even passed a phone to call home to let their parents know they had arrived safely. So you can see where this is going right..... yes I wait all day and night - and nothing! I think every mission is different so another Myth Busted ;-)

And after all is said and done, even with these little things shattered and not bearing up well to my imagination, expectations and anticipation - I know without a doubt that my sons are in God's hands. Even without knowing by phone call that they had arrived - I know in my heart they did and they are well. I know they are excited and looking forward to working hard and although alittle nervous - they will be like sponges taking in every new experience, sight, sound, and smells of their new home! This belief I have, and this peace I feel inside - is not a myth and will never be busted!

Until the next time,

Take care,

Mxo

Letting Go - Day 42+

Dear Mamas Journal

I look back at my entry that I wrote the first week the boys left home for their missions and I cannot believe I have come this far. Honestly, when the boys left - I felt like my heart was broken, that there was no light, and the grief was overwhelming - and the crying. I had never cried that much EVER before - and was surprised that my eyes could come up with so much water ;-)

 

I have grieved before - when my mother passed away - so I recognised how I felt as grief for the loss of a child - not to death - but to adulthood, not to anything terrible - but to something amazing - but grief all the same. I realised pretty early on - that my sons went away as my babies - and when they come back - they will be grown up men, my role as mother shifted to being an advisor when asked ;-) and let's not even talk about the shift once he gets a wife ;-)

 

So what does it look like - 6 weeks later.... well, for starters I can write this without shedding a tear - and that's progress!

 

Keeping busy - Organising letters and parcels once a week. Thinking of new ideas or quirky happy ways to collect messages and images has been a fun distraction and I have enjoyed it. Check our my post on parcels and letters - so you can see what I've been up to. I also keep a book that I write a sentence a day and collect an image for the day - so that keeps my creative mind busy... Mr and I also have started a book called "How have I seen the hand of the Lord in our Missionary's lives?" Keep busy otherwise your mind will start counting how many days you have to go!!

 

Talking to the Mr - This has been the first time that Mr and I have been together alone since we were dating almost 26 years ago this week actually ;-) When we got married, we lived with my solo mother so we had our own space but we were always together with my mother and sometimes my siblings - and now, its just me and him - and I am loving it... It has been different, interesting and kinda nice ;-)

 

Having fun - Mr and I are trying to do things that we haven't been able to do - and go places that we may not have gone before and we are enjoying it. We are having fun, and for oldies like us - that's something right? We are finding that it is cheaper with just the two of us - so we can go places that we may not have gone before with the children. Recently we have been to a Rugby 7s tournament, and a Rugby League 9's tournament and just the other day we took the day off work to take a visiting cousin to Taupo and Rotorua then Raglan in a day - because - we could! We had an action packed awesome day.

PDays - The MTC has been an amazing experience for the boys and I guess what helps is the power of their testimonies that come through weekly emails and the photos - now those photos made me like a cry baby every time! The first couple of PDays - I was overwhelmed to the point that I didn't go to work. I would have been no good to anyone - crying away at my desk looking at photos and answering emails!! Gradually I made it to work on a  couple of PDays - and cried at my desk but still was there and then the last two PDays - I have been fine....I have learnt for myself the power of the PDay and the emails that you get from your missionary. It's like being addicted to your email inbox, and wherever you are -  you wait, and wait, and wait.... sometimes you are lucky enough to get a photo - but those emails are precious!! I have never heard my sons tell me they love me so much until now. I have watched them connect with their father and ask his advice about companionships - which has been beautiful to see develop. I have read their testimonies and spiritual experiences and honestly - it is what keeps me going. How could I be sad, and want my sons home - when they were happy, learning, serving, and excited.... my feelings becomes less important -and my focus on their happiness becomes more important!!

Counting - I remember waiting for the sun to come up so I could tick off another day! And the days just dragged on and on and were not moving fast enough. When I stopped counting - and this didn't happen until week 4/5 - the days have just been peeling away! I keep three counters and they all keep ticking over regardless which has been awesome. I mean, here I am in week 6, when I thought, honestly it felt like I was going to die of a broken heart in week 1.

Cry - Don't get me wrong - I haven't stopped crying. I just cry for different things now. Before it was about how sad I was and now - it's more about what I am reading and witnessing in my sons. Their testimonies are amazing!! Their experiences are life-changing. They miss home, they miss me and their father - and hearing that makes me cry. What I have found though is that when I am reading their emails - I tend to get emotional.... because I can hear in their words this powerful testimony, and this love they have of the gospel, but more especially their relationship with Heavenly Father and their Saviour Jesus Christ. I call them my golden tears ;-) I cry more now because I feel what they are saying and love them more everyday.

Support - I have had amazing support - both in person or otherwise. I have joined a Missionary Mommas page on facebook which had hundreds in it when I joined last October and now there is over a thousand members. That amount of missionary mothers is best support system you can have because there is bound to be someone, either here or abroad that has had the exact or similar experience to you. I have non-member and member friends who have been so supportive. I got a blessing from one of my missionarys (their father got one from the other twin) and he mentioned on a number of occasions - to "bless mum to know that she is loved and supported". One day I was crying all the way to work - and feeling that there was no way I was going to get through it!! I walk into my building and there is a dear friend who is waiting to talk with me - so we chat away and then she tells me she may have some tickets to a Rugby League 9s tournament! Out of the blue.... it turned out her tickets were available and she sent them to Mr and I - encouraging us to make new happy memories. I cried again - only this time it was for the love of a friend - not a member of my faith - and still was the answer to my missionary's blessing. I shared this with her and she, in closing says to me - "God bless you!!" (How amazing are my friends!! ;-)

Back to the Basics - When it comes down to it - our missionaries are serving the Lord - so I need to get myself into that frame of mind - and do this by getting back to the basics - reading the scriptures (which Mr and I are trying to do in Spanish ;-)), saying our prayers and fasting. It's a formula my mother gave for every challenge faced - and it always works!

My top tip has got to be not to think too far ahead. I couldn't do this if I concentrated on two years so rather go from PDay to PDay or by weeks and it is working for me!

Until the next time,

Mxo

Parcels & letters

There has been a lot of chatter on an facebook group I am a part of  (made up of missionary mothers only - can you imagine that?? I love it!!) - regarding parcels and letters. In fact before the boys had even been set apart I was taking all this information in and was better prepared for it. So this is what I have done over the last 6 weeks that the boys have been gone...

1. Old School is still the best

Regardless of what anyone says - a handwritten letter is the best! It is normal practice to email, and through places like DearElder.com you can send an email, which will get printed and put into an envelope and delivered and if blessed enough to be in the Provo MTC- it can be delivered free! We have done this, as well as sent care packages through DearElder.com - but when we recieved our own envelope of hand written letters - we were alittle - well, make that I was overwhelmed  - I cried! When the boys settle in the Dominican Republic I am going to hand write to them at least each fortnight!

 

2. Out with the Old and in with the Old ??

When I was a teenager and granted it was some decades ago - without the internet - we used to use old magazine pictures and write letters on the other side of them - and fold them in a way that they also served as an envelope. Well 30 years later, guess what I did for my missionaries - picked pages from magazines and wrote on them and turned them into envelopes. My niece is also a missionary - so I have to admit finding funky images for her was much easier - but for them I have even turned tv, appliances and furniture adverts into writing paper. The boys have loved receiving these  - every one!! So try it - look through the latest magazine and let your imagination take over ;-) If there was too much writing, then I found some scrapbooking paper and covered it up and wrote on that. The little superhero photo was a furniture advert in a house magazine, with a piece of scrapbook paper at the bottom to cover up the details.

3. Creative messages

I have heard that photos or images are worth a thousand words - so what happens if you combine them both? I have done this a few times - the first was at a beach activity. I painted an old framed picture (picked it up from a 2nd hand store) with blackboard paint and had friends and people my missionaries knew, write messages to the boys then photographed them holding their message.  After I had a handful - I made a collage - each one different - and sent them over inside a parcel. They were so surprised!! One of my boys loved it so much - saying it was an answer to his prayers - and he had planned to ask me to send him some photos of friends and family. It buoyed him up - especially when he was at the MTC in the snow - having left us and summer behind just a few weeks earlier. Be creative with your messages - short is good enough and remember - just because they are on a mission - doesn't mean they don't need to have a little giggle or laugh and see people from home!

4. Pictures are worth a thousand words

Recently Mr and I went with our friends to Wellington, NZ - about a 6 hour drive from where we live. While we were there we went to an international Rugby 7s competition. It has got a reputation of people dressing up in costumes (and other things) - and so I approached people to hold a handmade sign on the back of a paper bag saying 'HOLA'. I again put that together as a collage on one side of an A4 sized card and on the cover - I put a message and photos of Mr and I telling our sons how much we loved them!! 

5. Parcels and letters are not cheap
I sent a parcel to the MTC a week before the boys got there so when they did - they had a parcel waiting for them or arrived soon after landing. It made their day! It cost more to send it than what was in it!! I made a pact that I would send them a parcel every week - and yes it cost hundreds of dollars - but I needed to do that for me! I didn't want them to want for anything - turns out - they wanted (well one son in particular) more than what I sent and he will live without it!! But parcels are not cheap. Now the boys are moving to the Dominican Republic and parcels take 6-8 weeks to arrive IF AT ALL!! I need to be a little more organised and will be utitlising DearElder.com who will print emails and put them in envelopes and mail once a week -and also do something called a pouch - which is alittle bigger than a letter (photos can be added) with a small charge and this is done once a week as well. So I will be utilising all of these options as well as regular mailing. As it is expensive - think about sharing parcels and letters amongst your family and friends!

6. Be careful
I have heard of stories where missionaries never receive their parent's parcels -  I am prepared for this, hence using DearElder.com. but will let you know if that works!! However, this is not what you need to be careful of - as I found out. There are rules about the things that you can send which I found out the hard way.. My sons needed some insect repellent - so thinking they would be able to shop on their PDay - we planned for them to purchase this in the States. Little did  we know that they were unable to go shopping AT ALL while in the MTC - so ended up with no insect repellent. Big problem!! It is a requirement for them to take it as Denghi fever and Malaria  and other insect carried diseases are big health concerns in the DR..... so I thought I would mail them some insect repellent - WRONG MOVE. Unbeknown to me until it was dropped off - a couple of my parcels had been stopped, opened, re-taped and then sent on to the boys - with the insect repellent sent back to me as dangerous and hazardous!! The drama and a lesson for me!! So be careful with what you send - although I declared it - it came back and my sons never got their parcel for that week....

7. Use every surface

Missionary mothers (MMs) are an amazing group of people and some of the things that are getting sent to missionaries is amazing - so that my babies didn't miss out I adapted it and did my own thing - but based on the same premise of filling every empty space on the parcel with love. Some mothers filled the insides of the parcel flaps with pictures of sunshines, other attached themed pictures like hearts on valentines day, flowers, you name it - it's been done!! I have stuck photos on mine so that the first thing my son will see when he opens his parcel beside the goodies inside is a reminder of the people who love him dearly!! Other times I have written messages and encouragement for him so that his eyes are full of things that I want him to know. Basically, I use every surface to let him know that he is loved and never ever alone!!

8. Guidelines on what not to do

There is this awesome article about what to do and what not to do when writing to a missionary that I thought was great. It is an older article but it is still a very good read. However, I think the most important thing to note is to use what you think is best for your child.... For example, after reading this article - Mr and I decided that we wouldn't tell the boys how much we missed them - so we wrote emails back and forward - never telling them that. They would tell us how much they missed us - but we told them we loved them but never concentrated on the "missing" bit - and remember I thought I was dying of heartache and grief - so it was difficult for me NOT to let them  how I was feeling. Then one day, I read a post by another MM who had a son return home and she said that her first two children - she never told them that she missed them but the younger two she did (without ever dwelling on it! - and that's the key).  She said - that it made a difference - the younger two appreciated knowing that they were missed - whereas the older two often wondered if they were missed, and never felt like they were - what a powerful lesson for me.... So since then, and in the last few weeks we tell them that we miss them and love them more.... Which has worked because one of our boys has been a bit homesick and to know that his mother and father actually missed him heaps - helped him - he knew he was not alone - EVER!! Check the article out - http://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/03/missionary-mail?lang=eng

I hope you have found something helpful in this entry!! I will let you know how I go sending things into the Dominican Republic - starting next week. I plan to send a peanut butter care package through DearElder.com - which according to them is one of the top request from missionaries serving internationally - peanut butter? Who would have thought that...

Until the next time,

Mxo