The MTC

Dear Journal (I must find you a name!!)

40 strong international cohort of
missionaries from everywhere except the
USA. All arrived Monday night - the USA
missionaries arrived on Wed.

To be honest I didn't really know know what happens at the Missionary Training Centre (MTC). I mean Mr tells me what he remembers, but when your 'intel' is almost 25 years old - you have to wonder ;-) In one of my son's email, he said it was hard work, and trying to learn how to teach the gospel in ENGLISH is fine - but to do it in Spanish is proving to be a tad more complicated. Both boys are loving it though!! and even though not so keen on their companions YET, I'm sure as a twin they will be able to navigate having someone in their back pocket 24/7.  Mr, bless his heart reminds me every time I worry that the spirit will actually do the teaching which makes sense - so I'm not too worried!

 

As you do, I found to help was this webpage called "What to Expect at the Missionary Training Centre: Everything You Need To Know About Your Stay at the MTC" by Rachel Bruner at http://lds.about.com/od/programs3foldmission/tp/missionary_training_center.htm It is written to inform a pre-missionary of what to expect but I found it really helpful trying to understand what my boys are up to at the moment.....

 

Here are some things I was grateful to read - thank you Rachel!!:

 

The power dot and entering into the MTC

My son emailed me about this dot - so it was great to read. "When [your missionary] check[s] in at the MTC [they] will be given a "power dot" (bright red/orange sticker aka "dork dot") to identify [them] as a new MTC missionary. Wearing this sticker allows MTC volunteers, employees, and the other missionaries  to help, such as carrying heavy luggage to dorm rooms - [and] who doesn't want help with that? The MTC is huge, with 1000’s of missionaries and many buildings, so [ensure your missionary doesn't] feel ashamed to ask for help if [they] get a bit confused.

After an orientation with the MTC president will process some of [your missionary's] paperwork, receive any additional immunizations, and receive a packet of information that will include [his/her] assigned companion, dorm room, district, branch, teachers, classes, preparation day, mailbox, and debit card."

 

Companions, Districts and Branches

 "One of the basic rules for all missions, including time at the Missionary Training Center, is to always remain with your assigned companion. The "missionary conduct" rules also tells MTC missionaries to "cultivate your companionship by sitting together in all meetings and at all meals." You will share a dorm room with your companion and probably two or more other missionaries who may, or may not, be in your district which usually consists of 12 missionaries.

The district works under a branch and each branch attends regular sacrament meeting services together on Sundays." One of the boys tried to explain how it works - and I got confused but it sounds all organised and sees young men in leadership roles in just a matter of weeks which suits me! This photo is of their first temporary companions before being separated, and the boys going to their permanent Spanish speaking quarters. They bonded quickly with Elder Tangi and Elder Dixon, and can imagine their reunion in 2 years time when they finish at the same time!

Lessons, Learning, and Languages
The majority of the time at the MTC will be spent in classes with your district. Each day (except for Sundays and P-Days)  will have three classes, each with a different teacher. During class time [a missionary] will learn how to study the scriptures, preach the gospel and proselytise. For those learning another language, classes last for (almost 7 weeks), in which missionaries will learn [their] new language as well as how to preach the gospel in that language. This missionary manual of study is Preach My Gospel. This is Elder Aisake Turketo's district. Not sure how many cameras are doing the photographing ;-)
 

Food

"Food at the Missionary Training Center is excellent! The cafeteria has an assortment of tasty dishes to choose from for each meal. Since there are thousands of missionaries at the MTC [your missionary] will often have to wait in a long line before you get your food....One common practice among MTC missionaries while waiting in line is to practice being a missionary, such as inviting people to hear your message, as well as practicing [their] new language."

 

One of the boys mentioned this in his first email - so the food has gotta be good!!

 

Money, Mail, & Missionary Materials

Missionaries "receive a missionary access card which is basically the MTC's debit card. Each week a specific amount of funds will be deposited into your account which you will use for laundry, meals, and at the MTC bookstore. The MTC bookstore stocks the basic missionary supplies, such as books, pamphlets, scriptures, scriptures cases, backpacks, laundry detergent, and a large variety of other missionary related materials and goodies.

There is a post office at the MTC and each missionary is assigned their own mailbox- which address is among the papers you receive when you first arrive at the Missionary Training Center."

 

Preparation-Day at the MTC

"Preparation-day, called P-Day, is one day set aside during your mission (including your time at the MTC) to take care of personal needs, such as laundry, cleaning, haircuts, write home, do service, and exercise. Missionaries at the MTC are also supposed to attend the Provo Temple on their p-day.

Missionaries are assigned specific duties as part of their p-day service, which might include things like cleaning bathrooms, dorm buildings, the grounds, and other buildings.

Missionaries will have time to get some fun exercise with activities such as volleyball, basketball, and jogging. P-day ends at the beginning of the dinner hour."

 

I got emails and photos from my boys this week on their P-Day, one of which is on Sunday (NZT) and the other Wednesday (NZT) which have now become my favourite days of the week!! They both got to go to the temple and are absolutely loving it!! I love P-Days!! They both gave me a shopping list - so off to do some shopping tommorow. I still get to be a mum and nothing makes me happier!!

 

So there you have it - some tidbits about what goes on at the MTC. Thank you Rachel Bruner for sharing with this MM.

See you next week,
 

Mxo

Letting Go - DAY 7+

Dear Journal,

Some years ago - I used to teach Human Development, of which the cycle of a  human being was taught. There I learnt words such as launching, re-launching, and empty nesting. At that time my sons were about 3-4 years old and this launching (children leaving home) and empty nest syndrome (parents at home with no children) seemed so far away. I remember, even back then dreading the day my precious babies would leave me! If only I knew then what I know now.

Letting the boys go has been one of the hardest things I have had to do - the reality, and the finality has been overwhelming, and almost unbearable. For me, letting go has been saying goodbye to my role as a full-time mother. I know that with them going they are now in the Lord's hands, but as they return they will no longer be my baby boys, instead, two grown men, almost-peers. So saying goodbye to them reminds me of this upcoming new stage in my life.

Coupled with these feelings is my reality that the boys are everything I have in this life - and now they are gone, in their place is this great big empty nest. I don't have young children to fill in the silences with their arguing, fighting, laughter and tears. I don't have grandchildren with their giggles and dirty nappies. All I have is this house, and a husband that walks around equally as stunned as I am - the penny finally dropping - we are all alone!!

They haven't been gone for long and it feels like years have dragged by!!

I know I am going to get through this - because I know so many other capable mothers of missionarys that  are not only alive and breathing - they are thriving members of their communities, working hard, and not crying ALL of the time!!

But for now - I am taking one day at a time. Sunday was a terrible day, but today is going okay so far ;-) Here are some tips I found online http://www.wikihow.com/Recover-From-Empty-Nest-Syndrome to help empty nesters recover. I'm going to try them - one day soon...

1) Although it doesn't say this online - the first one for me is living and really implementing Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding, In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.." and another one from  Richard G. Edgley "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.." Online - they call this step "Shift Aside the Terrifying Thoughts".

2) Accept Support

I really haven't wanted to see anyone except my brother and sister and their families - them, I can't get enough of.... and have been hiding in my little sanctuary. But my closest friends have burrowed their way in, bringing me flowers, coming for dessert, texting and emailing or just popping in.  The suggestion that suits me best is this: "Acknowledge your grief. It doesn't matter what other people think or say about getting on with it. Unacknowledged grief will gnaw away at you if you don't face it and let yourself be upset for a time. Allow the grief to work through your system." And with that I take one day at a time, trying hard not to hear the people who are thinking "What's her problem?" "Why doesn't she just snap out of it?" "She's lucky - I can't wait until all of my kids are gone"!! This is how I feel - and I'm working through it the best way I know how.

3) Start looking at your own needs

This made me smile: "Avoid creating a shrine out of your child's bedroom. If they didn't clean it up before they left, throw some of your emotions into removing all that trash! Eliminate some of the clutter, but carefully place your child's keepsakes in safe storage." It's easy enough to do this, but for Mr and I we cleaned the rooms out and they look nothing like they used to and that works for me! The suggestion I like the best is : "Go back to school or university. Select a course that you feel resonates with you at this point in life. Work out whether this is a completely new path you're setting out on, or whether it's to upgrade your existing qualifications. Either way is good." This year, Mr and I are either going to take up Ballroom Dancing or learn Spanish.... or who knows - we might do both ;-)

4) Rediscover the Love of your Life

The only trouble with this one is that I already do this often - and honestly I would not have been able to get through this last little period without Mr. He has been so kind and gentle to me. I asked him early on - to never ever roll his eyes when I am pleading my heart out, and not to put a limit on my grief which he has kept to so far.... luckily he had some practice when my mother died - now that was a WHOLE 'nother story... Wikihow's suggestion: "Allow time for your relationship to blossom anew. This can be an exciting time of rejuvenation for both of you." We are looking forward to taking some weekends away and looking forward to touring the South Island of NZ for Christmas!

5) Focus on some of the positive points of your kids leaving

What is so funny is that I have an Aunty who is going through this season as well, after raising 6 awesome children - she has found herself a widow and an empty nester - and she is doing great!! She is my example of the 'after-life' of children and makes me excited about the possibilities. The biggest change so far as been the toilet paper - I don't know what my boys used to do - but that 18 pack of toilet paper is lasting longer than it used to! Our grocery bill has plummeted, as has the laundry and the need to clean. I am yet to tackle the toilet - but will get on to that - and Mr assures me we can keep it clean now the boys are gone! But between you and me - I am sure he will still miss the bowl!! Some kid's habits never die even when they are adults;-)

All the best with your letting go of your missionary. May you do it better than me - with dignity, courage, and gusto...

Mxo

Tender Mercies

Dear Journal

I have recently come to consider the number of coincidences that occur in my life as a Missionary Mama - and realised, well I already knew this, but finally fully understood, that there are no such thing as coincidences, instead they are tender mercies being extended to us when we truly need them. And, believe me I needed some - and have been blessed accordingly.

Elder Bednar has taught "I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often the Lord's timing of this tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them..... The Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualised blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindness, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly the Lord suits 'his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men."

When the boys got their mission call, they had to report to the Missionary Training Centre (MTC) in the Dominican Republic (DR) - but as it turned out - there is nowhere in the Pacific for them to get visas into the DR, so their reporting MTC was changed to Provo, Utah. And with that news, Mission Get Together was born!!

 

The first thing I did was make contact with my cousin Vernon Heperi to arrange to pick the boys up. Now Vernon is a very important person at BYU Provo, and as his time is precious, I was unsure if he would be able to do this for me. As it turned out, he made himself available to pick my babies up. What was great is just the year before we had spent some time with Vernon, and early 2013 the boys spent time with his sons, and then later we visited again when Vernon came to NZ.  

 

With that confirmed, I asked that once the boys were picked up from the airport,  if Vernon would take the boys for a visit with my niece, their cousin, Sister Niyah Garisau who has been serving a mission in the Salt Lake Temple Square Mission since September 2013. He said he would be able to do that and asked me to contact Sister Garisau's Mission President, of which I did.

 

Now the co-incidences don't stop there. You see, Sister Garisau had a change in Mission Presidents (MP), so I was a little nervous to ask her new one, as he would only be new and this visit may have been something that would not be approved. However, as it turned out, when I rang the MP's office, Sister Garisau's former MP was still serving and training the new MP, and because he knew Sister Garisau well, he allowed the visit, and a release to go to dinner and spend time on Temple Square. What a blessing, that a MP would know Sister Garisau well enough to know how important this visit was.

 

I spoke to Vernon the afternoon the boys were to arrive and let him know about Sister Garisau's schedule and the meeting point... After losing my patience (Vernon had promised to call) I called Vernon and I got to talk to my sons! Elder Dimitri Turketo reminded me quickly that he would talk to me in May (Mother's Day) and was wanting to keep the Mission Rules and hang up the phone ;-) What a good boy!! Luckily my other son and Sister Garisau wanted to talk ;-) Not only had my babies made it safely through San Francisco to Salt Lake in one piece - but they were having dinner with Sister Garisau!! Vernon had taken them to the Roof Restaurant in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building - which I love!! If the boys went to the DR MTC - this would never have happened....what a blessing!!

 

Finally, Vernon took the boys after their visit with Sister Garisau to check into the MTC. He emailed me photos and a short video clip of them checking in. He did that for me and I will be so grateful to him for that! He knew I was worried and missing my sons, so he stayed with them as far as I would have been allowed.... Receiving the video clip and photos made this MM's day!!

 

I know that God is in control, and thank Him for extending His tender mercies to this sookylala of a MM through the change in reporting MTC, Vernon being available to pick the boys up, and care for them, and Sister Garisau's MP approving her visit with her cousins. What a wonderful event this was for both sides of the veil!

 

President Thomas S Monson has said: there is a guiding hand above all things. Often when things happen, it's not by accident. One day, when we look back at the seeming coincidences of our lives, we will realise that perhaps they weren't so coincidental after all. The Lord knows [our] trials. He knows our victories, And if [we] trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.... he shall direct thy paths"

 

What tender mercies have you found in your life?

 

Mxo

 

Battle of Wills

Dear Journal,

 

I love my sons. For the most part, they have brought me nothing but pleasure and joy. Recieving their mission calls in October was such a wonderful occassion that we shared with our friends and family and were so happy. For the first month we were all walking around on clouds, so happy that an assignment had been made and for the anticipation of the greatest adventure ever to be had just around the corner... and it was great.

However, from my last blog until now (there have been none - have you noticed, it's okay if you haven't ;-)) until just the other day - it has been a hard slog and a battle of the wills. Of course - as my sons are now in the MTC, we made it - but it was mentally and emotionally draining getting there. I only share this with you because the pre-missionary stage of being called to serve needs to be talked about more. If it had, I may have been better prepared, even if my situation was totally different to another - I would have been able to learn something!

You see, my boys were never into the party scene - so have not had any interest in and engaged in word of wisdom attractions. To my knowledge, they have never tasted of alcohol, smoke, or drugs. Thankfully, again the boys have not been immoral and weighed down by the trappings of sexual transgression. They have been good boys who have chosen their path resolutely and from an early age. So how was Satan going to penetrate the hearts and minds of these strong faithful young men?

I wasn't surprised at how clever and creative Satan is - but what I was surprised with is how he did it - through the breaking down of critical relationships. The relationships between mother and son, father and son, mother and father and brother and brother were tested, and almost stretched to breaking point.

There were arguments, and stand-offs and words yelled out that were hurtful and damaging to no one else but the family members. Satan creeped into my family through a mobile phone and the attachments and distractions that were communicated through facebook, instagram, skype and so on.... It was slowly luring my missionary son away from his family until his parents made the decision to cut off all internet and phone connections.

This should have helped, and in some ways it did, but then the pressure and pestering to reconnect, to go out of the home to connect with people was continually put to me. It was tiring and worrying. We wanted our son to go on his mission free of any trappings, distractions and ties to any one person. We didn't want him to worry about anyone that promised if not verbally, emotionally to wait for him!

Our son was asked to go to party on New Year's Eve in another town. I could not believe my ears - 1ess than a fortnight from his setting apart. He kept pestering me over and over to attend that party, and unhappy with my reply - shared some hurtful words and stormed off. I was so hurt and in disbelief that I called his father home and sat and cried. He later ran off to meet someone for a short time that night. Does he know that his brother, mother and father looked for him that night? Does he know that his mother spent the breaking of a new year, sitting in a car, with his father bawling her eyes out?

You see, I love my sons. I know that they are good boys at heart but they do have feelings and hormones!. I raised them to know right from wrong - but I don't know how others have been raised. I can't control how someone seeks a reaction from my son, or manipulates him to think bad about his own parents, cousins, and friends that he has had for years. I can only know my sons, and to be locked in a battle of wills with them was hard work!! Although he could only see the immediate future, we, as his parents, as all parents can see into the eternities...

I will never forget my husband saying to me - "We only have two weeks to go - are you strong enough to get through this - and get our son on the plane to the MTC - can you do this?" It was tough, I tell ya - and this battle of the wills is not for the weak !! But if your answer like mine was - "yes, I can do this!" - then good for you!! You can do this!!

Here are my top 5 tips on what worked for me (take them or leave them):

1) Plan the days leading up to your missionary leaving. We had family meetings every other day to track where we were with those missionary handbooks they get sent with their mission call as a guide.

2) Fill the days with shopping, planning, visiting friends and family. Keep your missionary busy. We went to see movies, we ate out, we ate in (their favourite meals), went swimming at the beach.

3) Become an electronic-free family - your missionary has to get used to it - so why not start earlier.

4) When they go through the temple for their own endowments - go often and get them to experience all parts of temple service. The most beautiful moments I had with my sons was when we had been to the temple.

5) Pray often and talk to each other more. I spent more time with my sons in the last two weeks than I had in the past and it was some of the loveliest times that I had remembered....

And for you mum and dad of pre-missionaries - just keep breathing. When I look back, I don't know how I did it, but we did - and you can too!!

Mxo

The Missionary Farewell/Setting Apart

Dear Journal

The last few weeks with your pre-missionary go by super quickly... I had a blackboard measuring the days and it seemed that no sooner had I put a number up, it had to be changed and the number kept getting lower and lower until my boys were GONE ;-(

I spent much of my time with my sons together as well as individually and loved every minute of it all, in particular preparing for their missionary farewell talks in sacrament meeting, followed that night by their setting apart. I learnt more about their personalities, their little quirks, and how grown up they had gotten, and how they had formed their own opinions separate to mine. What I learnt throughout this preparation time was that my son's have strong testimonies that God lives and the work that there were about to be engaged in was good and they were ready!

 

They spoke amazingly, with firmness and a love of God and their family. I couldn't have loved them any more or been prouder than I was hearing their testimonies. I was also blessed (by their invitation) to speak on both occasions. I cried most of the way through - and not sure anyone heard anything I said ;-). After speaking and singing a song I composed in our sacrament meeting, one of my sons said "Thanks Mum" and at that moment - it didn't matter if anyone else heard - because I know at least he did!

 

Anyway for this blog, I thought I would include my talk that I gave at my sons' setting apart called - A Mother's Parting Advice. I am sending it to my sons while they are in the MTC this week.

 

"My parting advice to my baby boys starts with and ends with one word - LOVE.

 

1) A Mother's love
A mother's love for her child is unparalleled by any other bond and I thank a kind Heavenly Father for blessing me with two beautiful sons who have brought me and their father, for the most part, nothing less than joy. If you could see how much love I had for you sons, it would surely fill this planet and the galaxy and beyond!!

 

Thank you for being good boys. You will be missed but we are so proud of you and look forward to this next part of your life.

 

2) Love your companion

Your father tells me all the time that I am a combination of all of the worst companions he ever had - so he was totally prepared for your mother ;-) Seriously though - love your companion. There is direct correlation between a working companionship and success in the Lord's work.

 

3) Love the people you serve

For people to remember you long after you are gone, and for generations to come, not only because you brought them the gospel, but because you truly loved them - that is success! Your father is the man he is today, partly due to the love of the missionary couple who baptised him, and continued to love him long after they had returned home.

 

4) Love the Lord

Love the Lord and he will not forsake you. President Thomas S. Monson has taught "When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question 'Why me?' At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel..... We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone.... We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required. The difficulties which come to us present us with the real test of our ability to endure. A fundamental question remains to be answered by each of us: Shall I falter, or shall I finish? Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down with the blows of life let us remember that others have passed the same way, have endured, and then have overcome....Your Heavenly Father loves you - each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy,. discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there"

5) Lastly, my sons - as you have been taught since you were little children, strive to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost with you always. He will testify that what comes out of your mouth, in broken Spanish or otherwise is true!!

 

Go with your parents love and the love of your Nan (my mother passed away in 2007, but always prayed for my sons to serve their mission). This church is true, otherwise you would not be going anyway on the plane tomorrow night. God lives."

 

I hope that this brings the boys some comfort while they are serving, as it has for me re-reading it again.

 

Until the next time,

 

Mxo